Today let’s have a look at our Master Funnel which includes different focus areas for mastering the way you think and feel, your behaviour and your life....where are you focusing most of your energy?
We all spend SO much energy trying to help ourselves, fix problems we have and get rid of symptoms and often we find ourselves back in the same ‘fixing’ loop over and over again!
What we need to ask ourselves is WHERE in the Master Funnel are we focusing most of our energies trying to feel better? Often, we are drawn to fix certain things going on in our lives right at the bottom of the funnel as these are the things right in-front of us and must be the easiest to resolve right?
For example, we stand on the scales only to find we have put on half a stone! We burst into panic mode and immediately put ourselves on a diet, getting rid of all the ‘bad’ foods from the kitchen cupboards. Sounds easy enough to fix doesn’t it? However fast forward 2 weeks and we find ourselves falling off the wagon on a Saturday night, giving into temptation.....
We often are focusing on the WRONG part of the Master funnel, looking for things around us at the 'Master your Life' stage to control in an attempt to feel better and happier. Yet getting nowhere!
Rather than focusing on the external (the 'Master your Life' stage) we need to open ourselves up to the idea that the way we can overcome most challenges and issues in our lives is to shift our focus to the internal i.e. becoming more aware of the underlying thoughts and feelings (the 'Master your Mind' stage) which trigger our problem behaviours which then has a rippling effect in different areas of our lives.
If you look at the image, focusing on our minds first (at the 'Master your Mind' stage), the benefits will flow down through the funnel.
If we focus on the core, the root of our problems; all of which either start or are enhanced by our minds this will then flow down through the Master Funnel and transform our behaviours and in turn our lives!
Does this sound good?
We need to remember that our Mind is at the core of many of our problems and this is where we need to bring most focus to. While events and some of our actions may trigger unpleasant feelings and reactions THEY DO NOT CAUSE THEM! At the root is what you are telling yourself and most of the time this happens subconsciously. It stems from the beliefs you hold at any given time, most of which operate subconsciously.
You are in charge of what you think
You are in charge of your behaviours
You are in charge of how certain events in your life unfold as you have MORE say
Developing self-awareness is the first step to mastering your mind and transforming all those unwanted thoughts and feelings.
Here are my top 7 steps to help you develop more awareness of your thoughts and emotions:
1. Focus on your triggers
Make a list of events that trigger upsetting feelings or anger for you. Then select the least challenging one to work on for starters (with practice, one at a time, you can take on more challenging triggers, working your way gradually to the most challenging).
2. Bring yourself into the present moment through breathing
Once you’ve selected the trigger you want to reflect on, find somewhere comfortable and start with a great technique called 7-11 breathing- breathe in for the count of 7 and out for the count off 11 (try doing this through your nose).
Focusing on your breath, with eyes closed, scan your entire body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, noticing and releasing any tension or tightness.
Imagine yourself in a safe place. Remind yourself you can choose your thoughts and feelings. Tell yourself this is awesome news. It means you are in charge of your responses, and no one can “make you” feel a certain way without your permission.
3. Identify and feel your emotions and feelings.
Feeling relaxed and centred in your breathing, bring the selected trigger to mind, perhaps recalling its most recent occurrence. Pause to become aware of your feelings and sensations.
Notice any emotions and feelings you feel inside, as you take slow, deep breaths. Ask yourself; “what am I feeling right now?”. Once identified this initial feeling ask yourself; “what underlies this feeling?”
What feelings and emotions do you feel? Write these down!
4. Feel and notice the location of any sensations in your body.
Pause and feel each emotion and note what physical sensations you feel. For each of the emotions triggered, ask yourself, what sensations in your body do you feel, when you picture the triggering event?
Observe the location of these physical sensations. Feeling the sensations, breathe deeply into them, and gently place one or both of your hands on where you feel them in your body. As you do, once again, consciously let go of any impulse to fix, stop, repress or judge any of your emotions and sensations. Continue to probe, noticing the sensations may lessen in intensity.
Describe the felt sensations in your body. Record the sensations you feel, and where you feel them, in a column next to each emotion you listed in step 3.
5. Accept your feelings and be confident that you can handle the emotions and sensations.
Remind yourself you are NOT your emotions. You are the observer of your emotions.
As the choice maker of your life, you may choose, if you wish, to breathe into any painful emotion, notice it shift, move, release.
Calmly and confidently affirm; “I accept that I am feeling … at this moment.” Say this to yourself, silently or (when possible) aloud; “I can handle this emotion…I am strong and able to handle this wisely, easily, calmly.”
A powerful way to get leverage on negative emotions is to remember a time when you experienced a similar emotion and successfully handled it. Since you have handled it successfully in the past, you can handle it again in the present—and in the future, for that matter.
Say to yourself; “I have in the past, I can now, and I can in the future.” Repeat the affirmations as many times, as necessary, to where you experience a shift in your emotional state and intensity.
6. Identify what you tell yourself in your mind that is triggering any painful emotions.
Next, notice what thoughts you are thinking to yourself when you picture the triggering event. Record what you tell yourself in your self-talk in another column, next to the emotions and physical sensations you listed in steps 3 and 4 above.
7. Connect empathically to understand and validate your experience.
Remind yourself that, though other persons or situations may trigger painful feelings in you, they are never the cause. Your “self-talk” is the cause of all of painful emotions you may feel. What you tell yourself also causes the accompanying physical sensations in your body.
If how you “explain” your triggers to yourself (the specific situations or actions) is what causes upsetting emotions inside you, you can choose to change what you tell yourself. You can choose to think thoughts that calm and empower your confidence and ability to make informed choices.
Understanding this, create statements that affirm and validate your experience, such as the following; “It makes sense that I feel overwhelmed because I’m telling myself, ‘I’ll never get his done…this is too much for me…I cannot handle it.’”
Just to recap, your thoughts trigger feelings and feelings trigger behaviours which then communicate vital information on how best to live your life. As you grow self-awareness and begin to focus most of your energy on the 'Master your Mind' stage of the funnel you will begin to understand the strong connection between your thoughts, feelings and behaviours and how they are impacting your life.
This is AWESOME as it will show you just how much more power you have than you previously thought to influence your mind and that just by making a few changes in your mind you can improve the course of your life by consciously choosing how you will experience events!
Got any questions or feel like you need some support mastering your own funnel? Get in contact with me:
0432 445 320