Updated: 6 days ago
If I told you that in order to fully and permanently fix your issues with food you’d have to COMPLETELY change your mindset, way of eating and learn a whole new way.
How would you feel?
For some of the women I work with, this absolutely terrifies them! A huge amount of fear arises. They believe that their behaviours around food gives them the feeling of being in control; whether that is tracking calories, following a diet plan or eliminating junk food. However the control they believe they have is really an ILLUSION. I have spoken in length before about these types of approaches (read more) which, if followed for a long time, will slowly destroy your self-control, trust in your body, decision making and lead to rebounds further down the line. More control is NOT the answer (read more),
So, what is keeping you stuck?
Fear of change. The bottom line is that you must learn a new way of doing things. Deep down you know that the way you are doing things isn’t really working, but this feels safe and familiar. For some reason you feel reassured and comforted when you go back to them, even though you know deep down that they’re doing more harm than good.
This is not your fault.
We all need to feel some level of certainty, control, or predictability in life. Our subconscious mind loves familiarity because familiarity = safety. Remember how the main job of our subconscious is to keep us safe. So of course, when you open yourself up to a new approach, the fear kicks in! You have lost the familiarity that you have become so used to.
What happens next? The what ifs kick in…..
“What if it doesn’t work?” “What if I put on weight?” “What if I put in all that time and effort and it turns out to be a waste of time?” “What if… what if… what if…?!” So you may have tried approaches in the past for one meal, one day, or two days, panic and go back to your old approach, feeling frustrated with yourself because you know you have to change to change! This is when you can become stuck, feel trapped and not know what to do to get yourself out!
What is happening here, is that you are making decisions based on imagined ‘what if’ scenarios, not reality. Instead of allowing yourself to learn a new way of doing things and start to gather real evidence, you find yourself jumping to conclusions about whether or not something is going to work based on fear, generalising every situation and catatrsophising using the power of your imagination (which is working against you, not with you).
But just consider these what ifs….
What if you were to open yourself up to a new approach, with the support and guidance from someone who has been in your shoes and understands the challenges you are facing?
What if you allowed yourself to learn a new way of doing things, experiencing what the reality feels like and growing from every set back?
Permanent change is going to feel scary! But if it feels scary right now, that is a good thing! The goal isn’t to stop it from feeling scary. If you think the solution to this is to eliminate the fear of change it’s not! It’s to build the habit of doing scary things. That’s where the growth lies. That’s where your personal breakthrough and transformation lies. So how do you learn to embrace the fear? Develop a NEW and BIGGER fear! The fear of the INEVITABLE consequences of NOT changing. is really at stake if nothing changes?
If you don’t start now what will happen? Committing to resolving my Eating Disorder for GOOD was probably the scariest thing I have ever done. But how I feel now, my quality of life and whole new perspective on things that happen to me, I would go through it all again if I had to.
If that has stirred something up inside you, creating a new and even bigger fear of not changing, then let me show you another way, a new approach and a strategy which will help you jumpstart your journey and make real progress towards resolving these struggles once and for all!
P.S If you haven’t joined my private FB community Women Living Unleashed, head over and join for daily support, tools, strategies, tips and advice for all things food, mind, body and lifestyle.